This book goes to...

If I ever write a book (and I'm as likely to do that as accepting that DDLJ is a good movie), the first thing I would keep ready would be the dedication. Whether I have a story to tell or not is not as important as who I dedicate the book to.

The following are likely to get a mention and the following dedication:
Golu: For tipping the balance, literally, with her cheeks. This book is a result of the agony I felt when the said cheeks went missing after a bout of paid self torture that fooled no-one.
Pooky: For showing me that where there's a laugh, there's a snort.
Mummy: For the most acidic and most hilarious sense of humour. This story was born just as my life was flashing by in front of my eyes, after I almost choked on my food with one of your observations.
Dad: For helping me with the fine tuning of this book, since I had to repeat everything thrice to get you to listen.
Babboo: For giving me the bright idea to write in the first place, and for innocently hoping that I'd be so busy with writing, I'd finally get out of your hair. Good luck with that thought.
Moh: For balancing the dual role of being Manmohan Engapoye and Manmohan Singh.
Sanju: For being the obliging (and expanding) punching bag for all seasons.
Prash: For practising tomorrow's on-air witticisms on me today.
Prasad Patil: For showing me what can be done with little brains and no spine - Nothing.
Satish Nandgaonkar: For being an online buddy and mentor without even meeting me yet. It's been over a year.
Dixit sir: For understanding that I have some brains and giving me the respect I deserve.
Vinod Kumar Menon: For adding a whole new dimension to crime reporting and dog-at-the-scene-of-crime coverage. Also for packing a Punch.
Sriram: For being more elusive than Greta Garbo. And for calling me 'item' and getting away with it.
Madhav Gokhale: For being my clean jokes and SMS buddy.
Ketan: For always having a joke ready, whatever the time or place or situation.

General dedications
National College batchmates: Just die, the whole lot of you. No dedication for you fuckers.
St Andrew's College batchmates: For being the craziest and funniest bunch in the world.
School: The only thing good about you is the location.
Dad's relatives: Who needs lobotomy when I have mind-numbers like you?
Journalism: Who you?
Writing: I love you.