I is back.

You thought you'd keep me away from my blog for long? Huh!

I spent an entire evening wallowing like a buffalo in waves of self pity. Then I made a fabulous dinner and the husband smiled at me and I felt happy again.

The next day I was back at work and telling myself not to waste another evening like that. Because that is just stupid and imagine how much work I would have got done instead of watching television like a retard.

So anyway, I is back. And working again. :P to moping around.

Crash and learn

Cannot describe the pain and the shock of having something you created thrown back in your face because it was no good.

Not going to talk for a while now. Major rethink about life and chosen route coming up.

Huh!

These days, I'm counting the days of the week as per the husband's weekly off.

These days I'm beginning to think I've outsmarted my sleep deficit.

These days I'm writing a lot and reading much more. That makes me really happy.

These days I'm nursing a husband who's a bit unwell.

These days I'm not cooking too much. That's not good.

These days I've started checking my e-mail thrice a day. I used to do it once in two days.

These days I'm not going anywhere and there are accusations of me trying to be exclusive and all. Whatever.

These days I try and be patient but man, it's hard.

These days I try to be more useful but that's harder than anything else.

These days I find I've blanked out most of this year from my head. That way, I'm a bit fuzzy on details but at least I'm less grumpy.

Me Ice Maiden. You?

The husband has been bugging the life out of me since Friday. Absolutely. He's been badgering me about how ill he feels (in direct proportion to how ill the rest of the city and Pune are with the swine flu yadda yadda) and how there is a strange pain that seems to be on a stroll on his insides. "First it goes up my right leg," the husband shows, pointing to the offending appendage, as if I confused it with an ear or something. "Then it comes to my tummy. Then it goes down my other leg."

I preserved my calm and ranted only once to nobody in particular. Didn't even lock him in the loo, honest. Am a good girl and a great wife.

Then this morning he wakes up flushed and looking a bit ill and sneezing all over the place like nobody's business. He tells me he was briefly up at 4 am because he couldn't breathe, then quickly said it was probably the mosquito coil on seeing the look on my face. After the sneezes, he said his throat was all tickly (dude, if it tickles, laugh.) and that he felt a fever coming on. And for the first time in my life I stopped being the skeptic and decided to get him some medication.

Mind you, I could have gone "Fuck! FUCK!" with the thought that the swine flu was in my house. But no. I is Ice Maiden.

So we got ayurvedic medicines for both of us, took our doses twice a day as prescribed and he's back to being a bouncing baby. As for me, I cleaned out the house thoroughly and disinfected it and am just resting my butt after an evening of making the home germ-free.

So what did you do all day?

HeeheeheeHEE!

I have looked at the e-mail for fifteen whole minutes just to gloat.

Even if nothing transpires, at least I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I sparked off some interest. Now if only I hadn't been so hasty about the other matter.

Hmm. (goes back to gloating over e-mail.)

Detached at last

Sometimes I come out from writing and am amazed at another world going on out there, without me. Sometimes I catch up, other times I simply let the world go on.

There is nothing more important than losing oneself in work. There is nothing more fulfilling. Nothing more lonely.

And yet, I chose this life. I chose to stay away. And I will. Just until the world starts moving again and I decide to catch up.