Saturday, March 12, 2011

Story of my life

- Bratty younger siblings are never the first to make up after a fight. Even when you can tell they're dying to talk to you.

- 'Yeh kya jagah hai, doston?' and 'Aansoon bhari hain' are songs I steer clear of when I'm sad.

- Also 'Whiskey Lullaby'.

- I always tell myself I will never ever speak to the husband again after a big fight. Ever. You can guess the sequel.

- Some fabrics are very transparent in the light. You realise this only when you step in to the light.

- All the good jobs are mostly taken by undeserving prats.

- There are actually people in this world who introduce themselves as 'smart, funny and good looking'. The 'funny' bit is true in most cases, albeit unintentionally.

- It is possible to think you are in love when you are actually merely in like.

- Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Vishal Bharadwaj sometimes sound similar.

- Loneliness is sometimes more manageable than unemployment.

- When a person says, 'I need help', drop everything and run to assist.

- It is possible for melanin in your scalp to correct itself. A grey hair can turn black or brown (or whatever) mid-way.

- People with half a brain and some amount of depth will not laugh during the sodomising scene in Saat Khoon Maaf. Believe me, quite a few people laughed in the cinema hall.

- One must not be judgemental. But it is boring if nobody is.

- I will not be upset or rattled if my child ever tells me he/she is gay. This is not a statement to create effect, this is a statement of fact.

- I always use men's deodorants.

- Many people at the gym do not use deodorants. Blech.

- One semester later, many people at the college still mistake me for a student. I was asked for my I-card yet again by a peon last week.

- I yelled quite severely at a girl copying during the internal exams last week. She was close to tears. I am not sorry for what I did.

- Say 'idli idli idli' fast. After a while, you can only hear 'dli'.

- I do not mind not having children. Just because I have a uterus, doesn't mean I want to use it.

- The Harbour railway line sucks donkey balls. I do not wish it on anyone.

- Journalism thrills. Kills.

- Vishal Dadlani would look funny with hair on.

- My mother is the snarkiest, funniest woman her age ever. Also very intelligent and hardworking.

- Marriage, sex, singlehood, parenting...all very overrated.

- Gossip is the best antidote to many ills.

- Sachin Tendulkar has as many detractors as fans.

- If I ever die suddenly, please somebody remember to donate my organs.

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