Sunday, February 4, 2007

Shettys duped us and all!

Would you be confoundedly surprised enough to fall out of your chair if I told you that Shilpa Shetty's mummy is cheating two unfortunate souls out of monetary remuneration and thanks, despite these two being responsible for Shilpa's 'success' at Celebrity Big Brother?

No? Then why did Mumbai Mirror assume so this morning, with a front page bearing the headline, 'Shettys duped us'? My heart goes out to Razzberry Rhinoceros (or rather Jazz Barton) and Bobby Khan who were instrumental in making a non-entity into SOMEONE, (if they actually did that) and I cry buckets of tears for unrewarded effort. I mean, c'mon, the duo have singlehandedly managed to do what dozens of suicidal directors and truckloads of bankrupt producers failed to do all along - make a successful actor out of Shilpa.

Incidentally, Jade's mum Jackie insisted on calling our latest goodwill ambassador 'Shipla', something that inexplicably infuriated the actor to no end. Personally, I don't see why. All throughout my childhood and young life, I threw not a single tantrum when people thought I was 'Vaishali', 'Vrusaali', 'Vrishali' and even 'Varushali'. But yeah, if somebody did a Truman Show on me and captured me on live camera as these interpretations of my name slipped into everyday parlance, they would have seen a child and then adult grin and bear it. For free.

In other news, Mumbai Mirror has no news on Sunday yet again.

Mid Day, on the other hand, has this highly original and entertaining graphic illustration of a half-submerged tiger looking insolently at the camera while people wade through water in the background. Satish Acharya should have pondered long and hard before claiming credit for this illustration, which I shall not dignify with any adjective. Suffice it to say that I did not get Satish's joke this time around, and he's one of the funniest people I know. Sorry sir, but tiger-in-the-water-as-Mumbai-wades through-26/7-deluge is a graphic too literal in its interpretation of the cover story.

Speaking of which, Krishnakumar has rather spread himself in his description of how the Sena got voted back to power despite "wards being under water during Mumbai's biggest civic failure" yada yada yada. Like it hadn't crossed our minds already.

I generally like Krishnakumar's stories, but this one is as childish as the graphic that accompanied it. Sorry to you as well, sir. But he is one who appreciates plainspeak more than anyone else, methinks.

Other front page news in other newspapers remained unworthy of either positive or negative press. So we shall let it be.

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